George Carlin Famous Quotes
"As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything."
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Weather forecast for tonight dark.
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to us, do they"
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin Quotations
"Faith in tomorrow, instead of Christ, is Satan's nurse for man's perdition."
George Barrell Cheever
"Let the stronger man give to the man whose need is greater let him gaze upon the lengthening path of life. For riches roll like the wheels of a chariot, turning from one to another."
Rig Veda
"When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge."
Helen Hayes
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
Sherlock Holmes
Let your imagination release your imprisoned possibilities.
Dr Robert Schuller
Commitment in the face of conflict produces character.
Unknown
Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
Marcus Aelius Aurelius
"Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion."
Joseph Alsop
"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough."
Ann Landers
"If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old."
Edward W Howe