Henny Youngman Famous Quotes
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."
"My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat."
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning,....sleep late."
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman Quotations
"Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment."
Mark Twain
"We do not believe in immortality because we can prove it, but we try to prove it because we cannot help believing it."
Harriet Martineau
"From a fallen tree, all make kindling."
Danish proverb
"Since that deluge of newspaper articles I have been so flooded with questions, invitations, suggestions, that I keep dreaming I am roasting in Hell, and the mailman is the devil eternally yelling at me, showering me with more bundles of letters at my head because I have not answered the old ones."
Albert Einstein
"All sin tends to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is what is called damnation."
Wystan Hugh Auden
"Something you need most might be something you turn away from, something you turn away from might be something you regret, and something you regret, in the end, might cost you the one chance you ever had."
Brian Judge
A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.
Jerry Coleman
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
"Time for the weather report. It's cold out folks. Bonecrushing cold. The kind of cold which will wrench the spirit out of a young man, or forge it into steel."
Andrew Schneider
"For this is Wisdom to love, to live To take what fate, or the Gods may give. To ask no question, to make no prayer, To kiss the lips and caress the hair, Speed passion's ebb as you greet its flow To have, - to hold - and - in time, - let go"
Laurence Hope