Johnny Carson Famous Quotes
Only lie about the future.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
"Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president."
Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson Quotations
"If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others."
Tryon Edwards
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
Ken Hakuta
"Humanity needs practical men, who get the most out of their work, and, without forgetting the general good, safeguard their own interests. But humanity also needs dreamers, for whom the disinterested development of an enterprise is so captivating that it becomes impossible for them to devote their care to their own material profit. A well-organized society should assure to such workers the efficient means of accomplishing their task, in a life freed from material care and freely consecrated to research."
Marie Curie
"Worship the potato The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what else is more deserving of worship It's simple, it comes from the earth, and it can kill you if you disobey it."
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right"
Charles M Schulz
"Education is about the only thing lying around loose in the world, and it's about the only thing a fellow can have as much of as he's willing to haul away."
George Lorimer
"It can't be Nature, for it is not sense."
Charles Churchill
"This is what extremely grieves us, that a man who never fought Should contrive our fees to pilfer, on who for his native land Never to this day had oar, or lance, or blister in his hand."
Aristophanes
CDOS CDOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
Anon
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
Jimmy Demaret