Rita Rudner Famous Quotes
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times."
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with'"
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
Rita Rudner Quotations
"Marty McFly Jesus, George, it's a wonder I was ever born."
Back to the Future
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
Gore Vidal
The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.
Walt Whitman
"There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage."
Martin Luther
Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Wisdom is supreme therefore make a full effort to get wisdom. Esteem her and she will exalt your embrace her and she will honor you.
Proverbs 478
"If you believe that discrimination exists, it will."
Anthony D Angelo
"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."
Sir Arthur Eddington
Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by.
Maria Schell
"The ability to relate and to connect, sometimes in odd and yet striking fashion, lies at the very heart of any creative use of the mind, no matter in what field or discipline."
George J Seidel