Scott Adams Famous Quotes
"I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
"There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as 'nutty methods.' Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as a complete waste of time."
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
"Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."
"I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles."
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
"No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot."
We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.
We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
The Dilbert Principle The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage--Management.
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask Do they get smart just in time to ask questions"
Scott Adams Quotations
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Albert Einstein
"Wives in their husbands' absences grow subtler, And daughters sometimes run off with the butler."
George Gordon Byron
You can only cure retail but you can prevent wholesale.
Brock Chisholm
Intel has announced its next chip the Repentium.
Anon
Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.
Hyman Rickover
The value of money is that with it we can tell any man to go to the devil. It is the sixth sense which enables you to enjoy the other five.
W Somerset Maugham
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
P J O Rourke
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw
"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms."
George Eliot
"You may delay, but time will not."
Benjamin Franklin