So I Married an Axe Murderer Famous Quotes
"John Johnson Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a bitch. And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or shiv, and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria"
"Charlie And I'd really like to kiss you, but that's not a good idea, because then we'd start kissing on the couch, and then we'd start kissing on the bed, and I don't wanna rush into spending the night together. Harriet I'd love to spend the night together. Charlie I have no problem with that"
"Charlie Dad, how can you hate The Colonel Stuart Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass"
"Charlie Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morning... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love."
"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow."
"Harriet Do you actually like haggis Charlie No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."
"Charlie You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called F-You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground."
"Harriet What do you look for in a woman you date Charlie Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size."
So I Married an Axe Murderer Quotations
"Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly."
Robert Anson Heinlein
"Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor. (When love is not madness, it is not love.)"
Danish proverb
"Laughter is nothing else but a sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly."
Thomas Hobbes
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
Albert Einstein
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
Clarence Darrow
A suspicious mind always looks on the black side of things.
Publilius Syrus
"Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos - the trees, the clouds, everything."
Thich Nhat Hanh
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Andrew A Rooney
"Know'st thou the land where the lemon-trees bloom, Where the gold orange glows in the deep thicket's gloom, Where a wind ever soft from the blue heaven blows, And the groves are of laurel and myrtle and rose"
Johann von Goethe
"I have a high state of resentment for the conformity in this country. If you're not married and having children, it's like your life is empty or you're a communist meanie."
Walker Best